Log in

No account? Create an account
02 February 2010 @ 01:09 pm
Cheating while in a monogamous relationship.  Is it just human nature?

I have gotten into a few debates lately with various people on this topic and I am honestly shocked with people's opinions.  They seem to believe that cheating is human nature and we have very little control over it.  I disagree.  While it may be human nature to find people attractive in a sexual way, I fully believe in choice and self control.  Tiger Woods came up in conversation.  They say that Tiger's wife should have "expected" him to cheat on her because of his profession.  That she should have known it was coming.  Sure, being a professional golfer (or a rock star, or a navy guy) has those certain stereotypes, but should she really have "expected" it was going to happen 100%?  So she shouldn't be upset about it?  That just doesn't sit right with me.

I personally have never cheated on anyone... ever!  And I never would.  I believe that if you really care about someone, you should be able to resist temptation.  And if you are in the mindframe where you are considering cheating on a consistant basis, then you shouldn't be with the person in the first place.  Just end it.  Why bother dragging it out?  Break it off and then you can go out and do whatever you want without hurting another person.

I don't know.  It's all subject to opinion, but it just makes me lose faith in finding loyalty when so many people seem to have just accepted the fact that everyone is just going to end up cheating on each other.  So we're all just supposed to "expect" to be cheated on?  All I know is that whoever ends up dating me now or in the future will never be cheated on and all I can hope for is to find someone who also has the same opinion.  Otherwise, what's the point?
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Daniel Graycasper_ware on February 3rd, 2010 03:33 am (UTC)
I'm not going to debate your main point, but rather point out some interesting research that's been done in the area. Looking female preference for male faces it turns out that women are attracted to different kind of men at different points in their cycle. With a higher preference for more masculine male faces during ovulation and a higher attraction to more feminine male faces the rest of the time. This suggests that even in a committed long term relationship many women will consciously or unconsciously pursue different types of men month to month.
Daniel Graycasper_ware on February 3rd, 2010 07:34 am (UTC)
Really though, it's too simplistic to say either "cheating is just human nature" or "we always have control over our actions". Human behavior is the complex interaction of personal history, situational context, and nature of the person involved. As such depending on the situation or the context you have some people who never cheat regardless of the circumstance, and others who are compelled to cheat and have little choice in the matter, and still others who have the option to cheat and choose to.
Jennanebula66 on February 3rd, 2010 07:38 am (UTC)
See that I agree with. I don't think it's full on Human Nature in the sense that we are all animals who can't control ourselves. I agree the temptation is there a lot, but like you said, it depends on a lot of things whether someone will cheat or not.